Nowadays...

Good Evening Lovelies! 

I just happened to gather some info that relates to my last post. In my late night class today a causal conversation between my classmates and I was about being film students and looking to our futures. After having a insight of how some students feel, well it almost brought me to tears. I want to start this post off on a good note, I feel that my future in the film industry is bright but if I truly feel that I am unhappy; I will not live my life with job I am not enjoying. I want my future to have many joyous moments, as I wish that for anyone who goes out there and chases their dreams. Back on topic, I am not pointing fingers but this guy in my class truly feels that being a plumer with a degree from a community college is better than having an unknown future in the film industry. He believes that fixing a toilet and receiving a regular yearly income would be a complete lifestyle than to use his creativity and follow his dreams to become a screenwriter. Now he is his second year, plus he transfered from another film school, why in the world would he want to go off and be a plumer? Talk about not planning for the future, and keep in mind film school does not come cheap! Paying for college, any college is tough especially if you don't have the money to pay for it yourself and nor does your family...meaning student loans. Loans follow you no matter where you go, how far you go in your career or when you get married; loans can become a stressful burren. Most students at the school I attend are on student loans and to sit in a classroom and hear complaints on going to film school...basically calling their education "worthless" is so sad to me. It wasn't just this one guy it was whole class joining in, talking about all this school will give you is a job that you end up working your ass off for and getting paid in pennies. Saying that they should have stayed in community college. I sat there, awestruck and sad at my desk for the rest of the night. I hate being around people who don't respect everything they have right in front of them. I have found that most of the students at my school do not have any respect towards others, money, teachers, parents and education. I can not help but be sadden by this, but I will not let it bring me down to their level; sometimes you have to be different than the crowd around you make a difference. When people see good infront of them sometimes that helps them to understand how to also be better. 

A line that also stuck out tonight was "Don't plan on graduating and getting a job that makes much money in the film industry."

Money does not equal happiness. I know-I know you have heard a million times, but the truth runs deep in that simple sentence. Yes, money can buy that Kate Spade bag that makes you feel fashion savvy when you carry it, money can buy you plane tickets to travel to London, money buys you tickets to movie that makes you smile, money can buy you a chance at making more with a lottery and money can buy you the latest fashion that you wear and feel like the only girl in the world. Only money doesn't last, nor does everything you buy with it. Money leads greed, poverty and status. I understand wanting to feel powerful, feeling like wealth gains you respect but in the end it doesn't. Money can help others, such as charities and donations to the unfortunate, money does help pay bills and for education. 

I want to say a few things about myself. Not to come off as selfish or vain, as bad as that may sound. 

I feel so fortunate to be at this college, that I have parents that believe in me and that I am still so young will such a long road to travel upon. I am excited to learn everything can, but when surrounded by people who are older than yourself and having nothing left in them but to talk of drugs, sex and alcohol; they have attitudes, act childish, are disrespectful and act as if the world truly revolves around themselves. It is hard to fathom, as I came from a community college back home in Texas where people acted the same way. I think societies views on college have really changed, I hate that...I wanted to go school with people who are as excited to learn as myself but sometimes when your around a bunch of downers you become down yourself. Do not take me wrong there are some genuine people there, but the worst always out shine the good; I wish it wasn't that way but that is life. I always wanted to be a wedding planner since I was very young, and lately I have been thinking that maybe that would be better career, but then agin wedding rates low as not as many people get married any more. I want a job a that I can be me at, use all of this creativity I have had growing inside me since I was young. I really do want to be a film student, and I love writing films but what if it is a deadened career? Should I or should I not? 

Sorry to be in such a somber tone! 

I Promise that I am not unhappy, just getting all of my thoughts out there in case someone else is going through the same emotions. 

It is hard to be happy in a room full of unhappiness. 

Only I promise to wear a smile and go on as one of the more excited students, but not too excited as that can come off as immature and being childish is not classy. 

Well have a good night and remember to follow your dreams no matter what others say!
  XOX

      HMM